Stacey Canis

I decided to take on the prospect of soliciting definitions of common terms used in technology.

Here are the latest entries to be added to the “StaceyCanis Dictionary of Modern English”

• network –  a job that a fisherman does
• motherboard –  a female with kids, who can’t find anything to do
• hard drive – a tough road trip
• monitor – a lizard
• routers – newspaper delivery boys
• clickstream – A photo taken of free flowing water
• backbone provider – a chiropractor
• random access memory – one who has ADHD
• demon dialer – Satan
• hacker – one with a really bad cough
• Black Hat Hacker – One who hacks only witches
• HERF Gun – A gun that a little blue fellow carries around
• port scanning -the act of looking out the cabin window on a cruise ship
• honey pot – a ceramic container belonging to Winnie the Pooh
• fibre optic cabling - the muscles attached to the eyeball
• satellite broadband – an all female instrument ensemble  that is out of this world
• leased lines – rented wrinkles
• Ajax – scrubbing cleanser
• hexadecimal – a curse on a decimal
• search engine time line – research done to see how long before your car dies
• applet – a small apple
• megabytes – something that majorly sucks
• courseware – an itchy wool sweater
• database – a military permanent change of station, not to this base, but that one
• cloud computing – a computer in the hands of an angel
• teleconference – teletubbies talking
• drag and drop – what one does after completion of a marathon race
• IP – an announcement made by a toddler. (Give thanks that the call out wasn’t “IBM“)

Black Friday : Stores sow the seeds of greed which land on humane deficient hearts that encompass and thrive in their repulsive ways.

Taken on a golf course in Dubuque Iowa, 2008

I felt it was a grand day to bless you with some more of my twisted humor…!

Seeing how it is so gorgeous out, and many are taking off to chase a little white ball around for three hours or more, I thought I would give to you a few of my thoughts on the subject.

Below is my glossary of some of the most common golf terms. (At least, the golf terms I know of… )

• “Hole in one”- someone ripped they’re britches
• The hollering of “FORE!”makes me wish I had a bingo card so I could play along too.
• Sometimes golfers tell folks to give the finger. “Birdie!”How rude!
• Why do they just give recognition to felines? You know “Caddies”? They never say “doggies”!
• “Tee-Time”- Everyone gathers for crumpets and fancy pastries.
• “Wedge”- When someones shorts are riding up they’re fanny.
• “Pitch”- Is what one does with his or her golf clubs after a bad day on the course!
• Golf balls have “dimples” even! How cute is that! How could anyone hit a little ball that has dimples?
• What really gets me is that when they golf, they play another game at the same time. They always put down a round piece> The say it’s a “marker”.Sure… Okay… If you say so… They are always bending over and playing with them. But when the round is all over, they never tell you the winner of the tiddlywinks game! How dumb is that?
• “Greens”- I was taught to eat all of these buggers.
• “fairway”- I feel they should be disqualified if the ball isn’t put in this area! That obviously means they’re cheating!
• “Backswing”- is just a fancy word for a hammock.Why do they make the golf course so pretty and allow folks to dig holes in them? It looks like someones toupee caught wind when they hit those chunks of grass. Maybe that’s why they holler “four.” It represents the weight of the grass they’re throwing.
• “Putter”- That’s just an old junky car that coughs and gags.
• “The rough”- That just means they’re going to have it rough trying to get anywhere with that cute dimpled ball.
• “Sandwedge”- just means it’s lunch time for everyone!
• “Driver”- It’s a chauffeur.
• “Green fees”- I pay these every time I buy vegetables at the store.
• “Eagle”- I hear this is just about extinct… like the bird itself.
• Golfers use fowl language. “Birdies and Eagles”?
• “Divit” – I carry one of these cards in my wallet, so I don’t have to carry cash.
• I am sure you all have had as much of me as you can stand for now! Thanks for visiting and laughing with me (or at me…) once again!

  Love You All, See ya next time!

   

It’s the most craziest time of the year
with the kids spoiled and yelling
your tears start to welling when in-laws are near
it’s the most craziest time of the year

It’s the crap, crappiest season of all
when the holiday drivers
try and take no survivors
when they’re cell starts to call
it’s the crap, crap crappiest season of all

There’ll be flu bugs for hosting
hard liquor for toasting
and yellow marks in the snow
folks are rude in most places
lines etched in they’re faces
from shopping long, long ago

It’s the most craziest time of the year
There’ll be much finger throwing
when tempers are showing “hey get the hell outta here!”
it’s the most craziest time of the year

There’ll be Valium for coasting
and fevers start roasting
cause you got wet from the snow
You’ll look worn and ghostly
but what scares you mostly
is when your pits really start to flow

It’s the most craziest time of the year
there’ll be much finger throwing when tempers start showing,
“hey get the hell outta here!”

It’s the most craziest time
it’s the most crappiest time
it’s the most craziest time
no, it’s the most scariest time….of the year.

Good grief! Where’s the Tylenol!!!!!

My Brain Working Overtime!!!  LOL

              I’m just sitting here thinkin,
             wondering how we came to be.
             I would never had guessed,
            that I’m for you, and you’re for me!

Why you say?    Just Because!!!

• You like to tee off and I just get “teed-off”
• You say “sand-wedge” I get hungry
• You say megabyte and I think I put too much in my mouth
• You say driver and I think chaueffer
• You say hard drive and I finally understand golf lingo and figure you hit the ball pretty darn hard
• You say network and I figure that’s what fishermen do and the internet is where only certain fishermen are allowed.
• You say configure and I think it’s a person with  implants and nips and tucks
• Website  tells me that a spider got some glasses

Have a great Weekend!

Welcome to my Blog.

Welcome

Hi!!!  I’m Stacey and I thank you for coming by to visit me!

Here are a few of my thoughts on life and relationships. I hope to spur some conversations and input from you, my friends:

• Never mistake a relationship for convenience
• Never settle for less just because you feel that’s all you can get. That makes one lazy, depressed, and unchallenged. You eventually become your worst enemy.
• Crack the shell, break out and see just what you’re really made of. It’s time to meet yourself. It’s where head knowledge and your heart enter into peace together. That’s when your purpose begins to show itself.
• One must believe they are unique and have a purpose to begin with.
• Defeat leaves an awful taste in your mouth. Trials can either cause humbleness or defeat. Humbleness isn’t defeat, it’s a regrouping period and “back to the war room” tactic, while all the while bringing your focus back to the one who you draw all things from, even you’re very next breath!  Time to RETHINK, REGAIN, REORGANIZE. Rise up and see what you got and what you’re made of!
• Always require the best from yourself and you won’t leave room for those two nasty words “what if?”
• Last but not least, laugh at yourself and at the  circumstances in your life!

Humor, it does the body and spirit good!